Can Kim Jong-un control the weather for me?

Anyone need a hug?

Question from Jaz Ullman, a high-rise window cleaner working in Dubai.

Dear Declan,

I am a big fan on Kim Jong-un, the supreme leader of North Korea. I love his style. He is so iconic and uncompromising. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. I have him as my wallpaper. My entire room in layered in his image. There are two hundred and seven faces, all him. That’s four hundred and fourteen eyes, all watching over me, offering protection from the oppressive enemies of the state. I count them every night. It helps me get off to sleep.

I have just read that he can now control the weather! This is great news for me as dangling on a wet rope at one thousand feet can get a bit hair-raising in a lightning storm and if possible I’d like them to be banned altogether.

Do you know how I can submit my weather request to Kim Jong-un?

Dear Jaz,

Thanks for your question!

Kim Jong-un is undoubtedly the man of the moment. His Time award proves it!

time cover kim jong un
Anyone need a hug?

This latest talent in the field of weather control has singled him out as the one to watch this year.

State sponsored weather manipulation such as Cloud Seeding and Storm Prevention has been carried out by the United States Government and it may be that North Korea has weather ambitions of its own.

It certainly appears that Kim Jong-un has been gifted with a particularly potent near-magical set of abilities. Who else has found a unicorn’s lair and learnt to drive at the age of three (stick shift presumably). Such achievements are out of reach for most of the world’s earthbound human population although there are notable exceptions.

Moses parted the Red Sea by stretching out his hand towards it. Like Kim Jong-un, Moses came from an industrious family. Moses and his brother Aaron were active in the delivery of ten plagues to the people of Egypt as well as being keen amateur magicians. There is no mention of unicorns but it is known that Moses preferred to walk everywhere and so never officially sat his driving test.

declan foxly moses parting the red sea
Moses did not like getting his feet wet

Jaz, I have now obtained Kim Jong-un’s direct number (it’s listed in the phone book!) and sent it to you. As a backup I am sending your question strapped to a homing pigeon as they still remain undetectable by missile defence systems.

Just point me in the right direction!
Just point me in the right direction!
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